Transcript for Writing Your Resilience Podcast Episode 122

Author Platform Myths Debunked: How to Reach Readers Without Burning Out with Lisa Cooper Ellison

Lisa Cooper Ellison [0:00] Listeners, do you have a business, or are you trying to launch a book, or do you just want to connect more deeply with other people? Have you tried all the methods and formulas successful people have given you, only to come up feeling short, or worse, feeling miserable and like the effort was not worth it? I am going to raise my hand, because I have done the same thing. I have taken all the courses, I have spent money, I have read articles, and sometimes the wisdom that I get helps. But there have been plenty of times where following someone else's best advice has left me feeling frustrated and like I have to be someone I'm not, and it just hasn't worked for me. I find that I just become someone else. And you know what's even worse — sometimes the things that I have been asked to do are against what works for my nervous system. And when that happens, I feel stressed, anxious, and sometimes so vulnerable, all I want to do is hide in a hole so that I can feel safe again.

Listeners, have you ever felt that way? That is a common thing that can happen when we are pushing ourselves beyond what our nervous system is capable of tolerating, and sometimes we have to back away. But what can happen when we do back away is that we can experience shame — that we're not making progress, or that we're just not good enough or tough enough, or we just don't have the skills to be able to do what someone else has done. Are you familiar with that hamster wheel?

Well, if that is the case, this week I hope to get you off it, because I'm going to talk about what you really need to know about reaching other people and regulating yourself as you do so. I'm not going to do this as yet one more guru who has the magic answers that are going to allow you to create some sort of massive following, but rather I want to serve as a guide and a partner who can help you tap into your inner guru — that inner sense of knowing that actually understands what works for you. And so, let's go ahead and get started.

Welcome to Writing Your Resilience, the podcast for writers who want to write and live the story that sets them free. I'm your host, Lisa Cooper Ellison — a writer, transformational and trauma-informed coach, story alchemist, and fellow traveler on the winding road of healing and creativity. Each week I'll share tools, practices, and conversations that will help you let go of what no longer serves you as you create stories that change lives, especially your own. Together, we'll explore how to trust your creative voice, support your mental health and resilience, work with your nervous system and unique design, and stay connected to your deepest calling as a writer, even when life gets messy. It's time, my friends, to write and live the story that sets you free. I'm honored to walk that journey alongside you, one story and one episode at a time.

Lisa Cooper Ellison [3:15] Well, hello, everyone. I'm Lisa Cooper Ellison, your resident story alchemist and host of this show. Every week we explore the ways you can write and live the story that sets you free. And I am so excited about today's episode, because we're going to talk about a topic that is near and dear to my heart — one that I find is really important to discuss when it comes to people who have experienced trauma, and really anyone who has felt like putting themselves out there feels dangerous, scary, or anxiety-producing. And that issue is your platform.

So, what do I mean by platform? Every single person has a platform, or a way that they can connect with other people. And if you're a writer, you've probably heard the term "author platform." It sounds really official — like, oh my gosh, I have to have this thing called an author platform. Well, really, an author platform is just how you reach your readers. And one of the reasons why author platform can feel so prodigious — to use a big word — or just heavy, is that it can feel scary to put yourself out there. That's because we often think about it as, "Look at me, look at me — buy my book, buy my course, buy this thing that I want you to do." And when we think about platform that way, it really is inauthentic. It's not going to serve other people — one, because it's not really giving them what they need, but it's also not giving you what you need. That inauthenticity is going to show up in the way that you speak, the way that you carry yourself, and even the messages that you share.

But we don't have to think about platform that way. We can think about our platform as a gift that we are offering to the world. I think about it the way Marie Forleo talks about it in her book Everything Is Figureoutable. One of the things she says is, "No one else has your exact talents, gifts, and perspective, and if you don't express it and work every day to share your unique gifts, the world has lost something truly irreplaceable. Otherwise, you are stealing from those people who need your work most." And so that idea of not stealing from the world has really stuck with me, and it's something that I say to myself when I get afraid or when I work on my platform in a way that feels uncomfortable — which, I'll be honest, is often, because I've had to learn how to do this in a way that feels regulating to my nervous system. And I'm going to share a story in a little bit about a time when I didn't do it well. So, hang on for that.

Lisa Cooper Ellison [6:03] But for now, let's dive a little deeper into what an author platform is and some of the myths around it. So, your author platform really is just the ways that you reach other people — and in the case of an author platform, it's how you reach your readers. And there are some myths that people hold on to that create tremendous pressure around what they're supposed to do. Here are some of those: I have to be in specific places, like on social media, even when I don't want to be. To be successful, I have to become an influencer and learn how to do specific dances or performances for other people. While I'm doing this, I have to amass a lot of followers. And also, there's some sort of magic formula that you can use to get there, and other people know it — so if I just get the magic formula, I'm going to do the two things I'm supposed to do: amass all those followers and publish something — either a post, an essay, or something somewhere — that is going to go viral, and then I am going to be famous.

Listeners, have you heard that? Have you thought that? Have those ideas rolled around your mind and caused you to be completely stressed out? I have — I can definitely admit that. And so today let's unpack that and create some more ease around this process and around the way you see your author platform. And if you're not a writer, the way that you reach other people in an authentic way that is true to you.

So if you are trying to build an author platform, or any kind of platform where you want to reach a larger number of people, you have to have places where you are showing up, and it is helpful to have an online presence — and that could just be a website, or perhaps one place that you exist online, maybe one social media platform. That way people can connect with you in the ways that most people are connecting with the world, right? Most people aren't going to the phone book to find people or going to the library. They're going online. So having some sort of presence there is helpful. But that is not necessarily what you need to do, especially if being online causes you stress and does not feel joyous.

There are plenty of other ways that you can build an author platform. In fact, I have worked with many clients who have robust platforms that are not online at all, and I've said, "Don't even worry about being online unless you want to." So, if you're a person who is connected to a large organization, or you do a lot of speaking events, or you are participating in listservs — especially professional listservs that relate to your book — those are all parts of your author platform. So, I want you to think more deeply about what that could be for you.

And then this is the other thing I want you to think about: what do you actually love to do? I don't want you to think right now about social media or places you can be. I just want you to think about the skills that you have and the activities that you like to do. For instance, do you like to talk? Do you like to speak to other people? Do you like to draw? Do you like to write? Do you like to do something else entirely? And also — what is the weird thing that you like to do? That thing that's just you, that when people hear about it, they are surprised and intrigued, and it makes them want to know more. I want you to take a moment to think about those things, and if you have a notebook nearby, write a few of them down. Because those things are what can help you figure out where you want to be, so that you can build the kind of author platform that really works for you.

And when you're thinking about where you want to go and the things you want to do, one of the most important questions to consider is: what does success look like for you? What are your goals? Because you do not have to have a large following, and you do not have to become an influencer, in order to have a meaningful platform and meaningful ways of reaching other people. And notice what I keep saying — meaningful ways of reaching other people — because there are lots of ways that you can have large followings that are meaningless. Let's say you have 10,000 followers on Instagram, but very few of them engage with your work, comment, or share it. It's just a number. That's not meaningful. Meaningful engagement means that people are actually connecting with you.

So, think about where those places are and what is enough. I'm going to say that right now — what is enough? Because I think when it comes to author platform, we're always thinking about more: how can I get more followers, how can I reach more people? And there's nothing wrong with that if that's what you're guided to do. But also consider: what would you be happy with? What would be enough so that you can build a goal that is true to who you are and true to what you want, versus what the world tells you you're supposed to do?

Here are just a few examples of author platform goals that clients of mine have shared. Some people just want to practice using their voice. They want to be online to help themselves make sense of their story — so maybe they're on Substack writing essays about that, or maybe they're creating reels because they want to learn how to share something about their book in a more succinct way. Or maybe they're thinking about starting a podcast, and they want a way of using their voice to have a certain kind of conversation.

In fact, I started this podcast because I don't really like social media that much — I'll be honest. I'm on social media a little, but my brain actually feels better when I'm not on it. I personally like to engage in long-form work more than I do short little reels. Those little reels are dopamine hits that will take me down a rabbit hole and waste all my time. But if I can listen to a podcast that inspires me, makes me think about things in a broader way, or helps me have a better mindset — that's useful and important. So that's one of the reasons why I started this podcast. The other thing is that I really like to know things, and I like to know people, and I like to lift them up, and this allowed me to do all of those things. So, think about what is important to you and what enough is.

As I said earlier, one of the most important forms of success to think about is engagement. Here are some metrics I want to share with you: having ten really engaged followers who comment on your work, share it with other people, and sing your praises is far better than having 100 followers where no one is connecting with you. So, when someone comments on your work, thank them and then pause for a little bit of gratitude: "Wow, that person was touched by something I did or something I said. That's amazing. And how wonderful that we get to connect in this way." Because my deepest hope is that if something I share connects with you, you'll go off and do something inspiring that connects with someone else. That's one of the ways we can think about our success — as a drop in the water that ripples out and supports other people.

Lisa Cooper Ellison [14:17] Some other things you might want to think about when it comes to building your author platform: who do you want to be? Are you trying to be an influencer? Tia Levings talked about what an influencer is, and I loved her definition. Influencers are people who sell products for other people — think about influencers in the beauty space. What are they influencing? They're influencing you to buy makeup or something like that. That's what an influencer is. A thought leader, on the other hand, is someone who has something important to say about a specific topic, and what they're trying to do is share their experience, strength, and hope so that you can benefit from it in some way. That's what thought leadership does — it disseminates important information so that you grow wiser, you understand more about whatever that topic is, and then you can take action in whatever way is important to you.

So, think about that. Do you want to be a thought leader? And if so, who do you want to reach? What is it you want to say to them? And then, how can you be in those places — whether online or somewhere else?

And I'm going to tell you: in the world that we are in, think about local community and do not discount it. We often try to think globally — we're thinking about all of the ways we can reach everyone in the world — but some of the most meaningful aspects of your platform are going to be the people that you get together with regularly in person. And I'm going to tell you what one of the most meaningful pieces of my week is: times when I can connect with my Human Design group and when I connect with my Buddhist Sangha. These are small groups — not huge — but the conversations we have are deep. We laugh together, and because we are in person, we feel each other's joy and can connect with and support each other in ways that are difficult to do online. Now, I'm not saying I don't have people who support me online, or that I don't support others online, because that would certainly be a lie. I'm grateful for all of the people I know online and all of the ways I can lift them up and connect with them. But there is something important about in-person connection that we want to nurture. So, think about what are those ways that you can be with people that give you that sense of meaning and belonging.

All right, so we've talked a little bit about platforms themselves and what you can do, or what you could do, and what maybe you want to do. But I want to unpack those last two items I shared — this idea that there is a magic formula you can use to become successful, and that success means having something go viral.

I know people who have spent hundreds and even thousands of dollars trying to learn the magic formula that someone else has used to be successful. And this is not to dismiss anyone who has found success — they have figured out what that formula is for them. But here's the thing we want to keep in mind: those results may not be replicable. That's because there are other factors at play — the pace at which that person works, the topic they're talking about, the connections they have, even the timing. Those things are not the same for you. This is not to say that you can't be successful, or that formulas don't sometimes work — they do. That's why they exist and why they have so much traction. If they didn't work for some people some of the time, they would fritter away. But I want you to keep in mind that just because something has worked for one person does not mean it will work for you, and that could be because it's simply not designed for you.

And I'll be honest — I have spent that money too. I have learned many different formulas, and I've tried to learn them both for myself and for my clients, because I work with people on author platforms and I know a lot and can guide people toward things that might work for them. But there are many times when I find: oh my gosh, I'm trying to do this for myself and it's not working. It's taking time that I don't have. It's requiring me to be someone I'm not. And there's just a "no" inside my body, and I've tried to override it in order to please the formula.

Listeners, have you ever tried to please a formula, or please an idea that someone else had about how you were supposed to work? If you have, please drop a YouTube comment, because I want to hear from you and I want to know that story, because we are kindred spirits. It is so easy to do that.

And what I want you to take away from this is that you can be successful. I am holding space for your full and total success. But I really want you to know what success is for you, and to understand that we are not all successful in the same ways, for a variety of different reasons. One of the ways I have come to understand this is through Human Design.

So, if you're not familiar with Human Design, it is a system that helps you map your energy and how you can work with ease and flow. I am going to be teaching a session on May 27th called "Build an Author Platform That Aligns with Your Design and Nervous System," which I'm super excited about. If you want to join me for that, you will learn more about what your Human Design is and how these things work for you. But I want to talk about how it works for me right now, using two parts of Human Design that I think are really important to building an author platform — and those are your strategy and your profile.

Your strategy is the way that you work in the world with ease. It is the way that actually works for you, and for some people it is counterintuitive. So, I am an Aries — Aries people have fire, we like to go, we like to start. But my strategy, as a Generator — and Generators are people who have consistent energy — is to wait and respond. First time I heard that, I was so frustrated. I'm like, are you kidding me? Wait and respond? I hate waiting. It's the worst thing in the world. I've since learned exactly what that means and how it works, and how what I'm really meant to do is pay attention to what's happening in the world, notice what's lighting me up, notice what's bringing me joy, pause for a moment to see if this is really something I should do now or if it's really for me, and then take right action. That is very different from just going. There are other people who have different strategies, and when you understand what your strategy is, you can understand why certain things haven't worked for you, or what actually gets in your way. And sometimes what gets in your way is thinking you're supposed to do things the way everyone else does.

The second part is your profile, which is the mask that you wear in the world — the way that you operate. I've said already that I'm a Generator, but I am a 1/3 Generator, which means I have that consistent energy and desire, and a desire to do two things. One is to learn things deeply. I love having all the information — that's my 1 line. The 1 is the researcher, the investigator. I like to have all the information, and I like to do things that allow me to gather more of it. The 3 line is about experimentation. It's called the Martyr in traditional Human Design, which I actually hate. In Quantum Human Design, they call it the Experimenter — I like that word a lot better, so it's the term I tend to use. The 3 is about trying things, seeing what works, sometimes breaking things, sometimes landing on the side of error, but always having a lesson so that you build mastery through those experiments.

It is not always easy to be a 1/3, because those two things compete. But when I have paused to embrace that, it's helped me understand why certain things work in my author platform and why I like to do them. Teaching allows me to learn things deeply, and as I teach, I get to experiment with different lessons. I like to do it in ways that are disruptive, or that force people to see things in new ways and think outside the box — those are the 3 pieces. I love to learn deeply, help other people learn deeply, and think outside the box. That's why it works for me. It's also why podcasting works, because every podcast episode is an experiment. When I do episodes like this, I get to think about what I actually know and formulate it into something I can teach you. When I'm interviewing other people, I am soaking up everything they have to say like a sponge, and that feeds both sides of my design — the 1 and the 3. I'm experimenting and I'm learning, and that lights me up every single day. It makes me so happy. And that is so different from trying to create reels, which I know how to do but just don't enjoy.

So that is one of the things we want to think about when we're building our author platforms: what lights you up, and how can you learn more about who you are so that you can truly embrace what lights you up, rather than trying to do the things the world tells you you should do? I find it really powerful how accurate Human Design is, and how much it's helped me customize things for my clients — allowing me to give people permission to be who they are, and to really pause and say: what's the yes for you? How do you understand things in a way that helps you claim your power? That is why sovereignty is my word for 2026.

All right, so we've just talked about the myth that there is a magic formula you can follow, and that if you just follow it, you will have success. But I want to wrap up with something I think is really important—and it's related to that. The reason we love formulas is that we want something easy, something that's going to allow us to go viral. Go big quick. That is the American way. We want to go big quick. That does work for some people, but sometimes you may think that someone has gone big quick, and that is not necessarily the case.

So, I'm going to give you two concrete examples. Laura Cathcart Robbins is a friend of mine — she wrote Stash: My Life in Hiding — and I interviewed her, so I will link our interview in the show notes. She had a viral essay about going to the Brave Magic conference and her experience as a Black woman. It went viral, and it led to the Only One in the Room podcast, which has won so many awards and grown hugely. She got that viral experience — but she had been writing for a while. It wasn't like she just picked up her pen and suddenly went viral. She had been working on things and developing her perspective and her story for a long time.

The same thing happened for Tia Levings. She had been posting for years until, in 2021, she started posting about the Duggar trial, and it caught traction. People started following her in huge numbers, and her platform took off. It looked like overnight success, but really, she had been blogging and posting for years before that happened.

I say all that just to say there can be an illusion of overnight success that we buy into that isn't true. Are there occasionally people who do have overnight success? Yes. But more often than not, people have been working at things for a while, and it's just that what they have to say aligns so well with the timing and what's happening in the world that it leads to the success they have.

But here's the other issue that can arise when we try to go viral. It's not just that we're buying into quick satisfaction — it's that we're not actually wired for that. Our nervous systems are not wired to suddenly go from having 10, 20, or 30 connections to millions of connections overnight. In fact, it can cause people to freeze and actually quit what they're doing.

Lisa Cooper Ellison [28:20] So, I'm going to give you a little story about that, which feels pretty vulnerable — but it's been a teachable moment for me that I have shared with people for years, and I'm offering it to you now. Back in 2015, I felt called to write an essay about my brother's suicide. I had this internal "yes" — like, you need to write this essay. I had been to some writing conferences, and I pitched The Washington Post. They said no. So, I immediately sent it to The Guardian, and they said yes. The essay did really well — it was my first really big publication. I can't say it went viral in the way things go viral now, but it went viral enough that a professor of mine from JMU contacted me from London, saying, "Lisa, is this you?" And I know thousands and thousands of people read it.

At that time, I had not yet prepared my nervous system for that. So, every time people were reading it, I felt absolutely naked and like I was being stared at in all my vulnerability, and it was painful. The day that article came out was supposed to be this huge victory — I pitched, my piece was picked up, oh my gosh, people are calling me from London — and all I wanted to do was run and hide. A couple of other things came from that piece. I was on NPR, and I was supposed to be capitalizing on that, writing more essays of that vein, talking more, pushing, pushing, pushing. But you know what happened to my nervous system? It locked up. I had the worst case of writer's block, and just this internal feeling: I don't want to publish anymore. And so, I didn't. I didn't publish anything for, I think, almost two years, because my energy just shrank up. It just wasn't ready for that.

And that, again, was a huge teachable moment for me, because it helped me understand why this is so important. I really ascribe to something that Amelia Hruby said — she was on the podcast as well — and she talked about how steady growth is important. Steady growth that allows your platform to grow alongside your nervous system's capacity to accept that level of visibility. What we want is sustainable growth that is calibrated to how we are wired, allowing you to grow into something bigger and bigger, versus trying to have something explode overnight. I love that, and it is something I've worked toward, and I feel really good about it.

So, when I think about success for me, success means working at a rate that allows my nervous system to grow alongside my capacity to reach other people. And that's not sexy, my friends. It's not sexy. It's also maybe not satisfying in the ego sense, where we want things to go big fast. But you know what — it has been the best thing for me. I am so glad that I have allowed myself to do that, because I wouldn't have this podcast today. I wouldn't have some of the publications I have today if I hadn't taken the time to really allow for that steady growth. It was the work behind the scenes that was needed for me to have an author platform that works the way it does today. And it's not the biggest platform ever — I'm not going to pretend that it is — but I feel really good about what I've created, and I feel so honored by all of the people who comment on my work and write to me about how meaningful it is. So, listeners, you know who you are, and I'm just thanking you right now for all you have done to make me feel like what I do in the world matters. It's why I continue to show up, even when it's hard. It's why I stretch myself even when it feels uncomfortable.

Lisa Cooper Ellison [33:02] All right, so that's enough about me. Let's get back to the topic. I want to wrap up by reiterating a few things from today. First, I just want to remind you that your author platform — or any platform you have — is how you reach people, and the question you want to ask is: what are the best ways for you to reach people? How can you be in connection with people in person, whenever possible? And what does success look like for you when it comes to reaching people? It could be just having a successful conversation where you feel connected and you feel like you belong. That is probably some of the best success you will ever have.

As you're thinking about success, do not be afraid to set those terms for yourself. You get to decide what success is. Your success does not need to look like anyone else's. When you're thinking about this, always think about meaningful engagement, because meaningful engagement matters more than numbers. And if you're thinking about submitting work to an agent or a publisher, I will tell you that is how they think as well — they care more about engagement, because engaged readers and listeners are going to buy your book, far more than people who have simply liked something. So, pay close attention to that.

And above all else, take good care of yourself and your nervous system. Please, please, please create a platform that feels sustainable and nourishing. You deserve it. And if you are writing a book — writing a book is a marathon. If you are running a business, running a business is a marathon. And if you're doing anything else that's important to you, there is a marathon component to it. You deserve to make sure that you have the energy to do that work. And know that if you are listening today, you are part of my platform. I am so grateful that you are here and that we get to have these conversations week after week. Thank you so much for listening to this episode.

If you'd like to sign up for "Build an Author Platform That Aligns with Your Design and Nervous System," please see the show notes for this episode. But before you go, let's take this concept a little deeper. Get your journal out and ask yourself this question: what does success look like for you? Dig deep and figure out what your personal answer is. And once you have your answer, you can make my day by sharing it in the YouTube comments — bonus points if you also subscribe to my YouTube channel, because likes, comments, and subscribes are how we spread the word about the show.

But beyond spreading the word, I really want to hear what is working for you and how this content is landing. Speaking of your thoughts on the podcast, I'd like to give a quick shout-out to Carrie Feehan, James Patterson, Shannon's Channel, and Brigitte Rodguez for your recent comments on my episode on surrender, my interview with Jeanine Ouellette, and my editor's roundtable conversation on the law of increasing flow. It was so wonderful to hear from you, and thank you so much for your generous comments and for sharing your tips and insights. And listeners, if you haven't reached out to the show, I would love to hear from you too.

That's it for today's episode. Thank you so much for listening. I couldn't do this podcast without your support. If you love this episode, here are three simple ways that you can keep the show thriving. One — subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or your favorite podcast platform, so you never miss an episode. Two — leave a five-star review so others can find the show. Three — join my engaged community by signing up for the Writing Your Resilience newsletter. As a thank you, you'll receive a free copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: Five Tools to Transform Self-Doubt into Self-Support.

Until next time, remember that your story matters. As you write and connect with the truest, most authentic version of yourself, you become not just the writer, but the person you're meant to be. And that, my friends, is the real freedom writing can offer you.